Must be one of them there high tech jobs, eh?

One of our leading quote finders was sitting on City Hall steps in the park for lunch today.

After a while, she happened to notice a young dude sitting about 10 feet away and smoking a joint.

When his phone rang, he answered:

"Ya, I'm at still at work. But I'm on break now".

It had better be

Walking down ye old Church Street, a young fellow smiles and says to his friend:

"I know she's gonna find out.

I'm know I'm gonna be in trouble.

But I know it's gonna be worth it!"

Maybe because you call them fat?

Two guys talking, looking confused.

First guy: "Why do fat chicks do that?"
Second guy: "I have no idea."

Yeah, you're a keeper... can't wait to bring you home and meet the parents.

A guy and a girl are chatting. She starts to walk away.

He yells to her, while giving her the "I'm #1" salute, "F-U!"

She turns and says, "Oh, be nice."

He says, "That IS being nice."

I'll drink to that... oh, maybe I shouldn't...

A woman sitting with her friends, yelled over to her police friend, who had just congratulated her.

"It's been two years being sober.

That's why I'm wearing black today."

Yeah, that'll do it

A large group gathered around the rock, including one non-white woman.

A white woman shouts out, "Call her a black somethin'. Don't make her feel bad!"

And you wonder why the unemployment rate is so high

A young job seeker talking to her friend said,

"I had a job interview the other day and I didn't even know what it was for!

You just show up and sell stuff, that's it!"

If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy

A nice lady, but a bit upset with her husband said,

"I told him y'all's gonna be sleeping in the van...

The sheriff's comin' to Mommy's house!"

An exciting day and he even passed "Go" and collected $200!

A very happy guy yelled out to his passing friends,

"They took 25 days off and $6000 bail. You can't beat that!"

Sometimes it doesn't pay to pick up your trash.

A young boy, trying to keep up with his family but hustles over to a trash can to get rid of his gum wrapper.

"Wait! Wait!

I just have to throw this in the garbage.

Hey! You can't abandon me!"

Insurance or museum?

A lady, from out of town, walking with her friends, wonders,

"You know, I think there's a giant aquarium around here. The gecko? Yeah, the Gecko!"

That's just wrong.

Lady, talking to no one in particular, but I heard her.

She says, "You wanna know somethin'?

You can have all the nice people in the world but the world is wrong."

Yes, ALL of them are here...

Two ladies chatting, smokin' a Camel and enjoying the warm sunshine.

One finally stops and yells loudly to no one in particular, "This is why I hibernate because all the freaks and retards come out!"

When no in particular responded to her, she shouted once more, "All the freaks are coming out on Church Street!"

A guy and his dog walk by, she then says, "Wow, that's a cute dog."

So you want to be a chef?

Two guys walking down Church Street pass the Three Tomatoes restaurant.

Guy 1: "Is this the restaurant attached to that cooking school?

Guy 2: "I don't know."

Guy 1: "You know the one?"

Guy 2: "Yeah."

Guy 1: "The one attached to the CIA or the MCI or whatever."

Guy 2: "I think it's gone."